A Long List Of Ways The Seduction Community Can Make You Weird

[Nat]

Ho trovato questo articolo interessante e per molti aspetti vero... spiega perchè (almeno secondo l'autore) la community ti può far diventare strano... magari troppo strano...

Io mi sono ritrovato in certi aspetti di me stesso di cui mi sono già sbarazzato... ma cmq fa riflettere. Anche se su certe cose sono d'accordo, su certe sono nettamente contrario.

http://www.datinggroundwork.com/community

[quasar]

Eccellente articolo NAT,

ho fatto un paio di post criptici sul forum del mystery method a riguardo, e più di qualcuno ho visto a condiviso privatamente queste mie stesse conclusioni.

Per chi non avesse voglia di leggerlo tutto ne posto alcuni estratti qui (spero si possa fare)

"...I think pretty much every guy who's new to the Community goes through a delusional phase where they think they're some big pimp just for having all this 'How to pick up girls' information floating around in their heads. What usually happens is they start giving unsolicited advice to everyone they know. If a guy at work has just started seeing a new girl, you can bet they'll jump and tell them they should do this, this, and this. That or they'll suddenly feel compelled to start talking about women and society's views on dating all the time. They won't be able to sit through a rerun of Friends without loudly commenting on all the mistakes Ross is making with Rachel, or how he shouldn't supplicate like that, or whatever...."

"...One prominent example where you see this is with the advice telling guys to be an Alpha Male, or be High-Value, or High Status. Many socially clueless guys won't end up acting like how true high status people behave. Instead they'll act how they think Alpha Males act. They'll walk around with cartoonishly exaggerated 'dominant' body language. They'll be arrogant and aloof towards other guys, even their friends. They'll try to put down or one-up other people. They'll take every little joke and rib as an attack. They won't admit to any mistake they make. They don't get it and end up being socially inept and obnoxious as a result..."

"...A lot of the individual little techniques and lines from the Community have a showy element to them. A girl says something and you come back with a witty line and she goes, "Oh my God!!! I can't believe you said that!!!", then you high five your friends and go, "Dude, did you see that?!!?" Or a girl will ask you to buy her a drink and you'll have some clever comeback action for it. And you'll go to your friends and go, "Hahaha!!! She asked me to buy her a drink and instead I..." There are so many more of these. They revolve around messing with people or pulling off some sort of zany stunt..."

"...Many guys come to see pulling off these tricks as ends in and of themselves. I guess it can make you feel good if you always used to be tongue-tied around women and now you're busting out the crazy lines, but making a girl's friends laugh at her, or embarrassing some guy who was trying to be rude to you isn't the same as actually doing well with women. Getting caught up in pulling off flashy tricks can sidetrack you. Once again, it's also a pseudo-source of self esteem. What's it matter if your mates think you're a mack for being witty to some chick, when you're not really getting anywhere with them?..."

"If you give a child a hammer, he'll find that everything needs hammering."

"...Another item in the search for self-esteem. Lots of guys who post in forums or hang out with other Community members want to be looked up to as gurus. They want guys asking them for advice or gushing over their latest post. I mean, most people want to be respected, but the Community seems more guru-centric than most. I dunno, this is just a bit odd on its own to me, especially when guys with no real world game want to be seen as knowledgeable players. Why not worry about how your own life is doing and not care what a bunch of people on the internet think of you?..."

"...The naivity and extreme inexperience of so many guys in the Community can also cause very ordinary, unexceptional people to be bestowed with an undeserved high status. In the real world being able to get a date or have regular sex is not a big deal at all. It's the rule, not the exception. It's pretty much seen as mandatory to being a healthy, normal adult. But within the Community, a dude with basic, normal dating skills is far above the average. Even a man who can actually approach women in a bar is in an elite class relative to some of the guys. The bar is not set high at all..."

"...Some guys get such a skewed perspective that they think they're qualified to be dolling out seduction advice to other men (even charging for it) as soon as they sleep with a handful of girls, or even get a phone number. They have no idea what real skills with women look like, believing their wholly average abilities to be much better than they are. And the inexperienced masses don't help the situation, truly seeing a guy who can kiss a girl or get a date as being exceptional and far above them..."

"...I remember this about myself in high-school, and other people have told me similar stories about their experiences. Sometimes all of a school's unpopular, socially clueless guys will form their own little group. I 'm not referring to somewhat geeky, but mostly normal guys here, more that smaller group of harder cases every school has. If these guys form a group it often isn't very warm and cohesive. They're too distrustful, strange, abrasive, and socially clueless to get along with each other properly. Even a weird, unsociable kid is instinctively put off by another person's weird, unsociable behavior. They may hang out together, but they don't really like each other, and all these little passive-aggressive conflicts occur... ...The same thing can happen in the Community on a local level. You get these weird, socially lacking guys together in a 'lair' and they just go at each other. On paper they're comrades, joined together to fulfill a common goal. In reality they're feeling competitive and there's an unspoken 'every man for himself' attitude. They annoy each other. They squabble over petty things. They may model bad habits for each other. If you're not weird already, then getting too caught up in this stuff may make you a little strange. If you already are weird, then you don't need to feed the fire. Better to hang out with some normal folks or more level headed Community types..."

"...I've seen this message board conversation quite a few times over the years:

    Poster: "Ever since I got into the community I can't relate to my friends anymore. I want to sarge but they just want to stay in and watch TV like AFCs."

    Responders: "If you want to get good at this you have to turn your back on your old life. Your old friends aren't like you anymore."

I just think this attitude is really wrongheaded. It's just a bunch of dating tips, not a lifestyle you have to give up your old self to follow. Some socially awkward people can be negative about others and have a bad habit of looking for excuses to drop their friends. I was one of them. This viewpoint may be rooted in that.

Then there's that common idea that the only way to get good at picking up girls is to drop everything and devote yourself entirely to it for a few years. After all, that's how such and such guru did it. There's probably a more balanced way to go about it though. Why give up your current friends? Why screw up your education or career? There has to be a less obsessive approach to take..."

[SunBeam]

Questione delicata e molto interessante.

Commentare uno per uno tutti i concetti di quell'articolo è totalmente al di fuori della mia portata in termini di tempo.

Dico solo questo: i concetti e le perplessità espressi dall'autore dell'articolo sono TOTALMENTE SENSATI.

Quello che è sbagliato è l'idea di fondo: TOTALMENTE SBAGLIATA.

Quelli sono esempi su come NON VA VISSUTA questa community: è proprio l'ultima cosa che qualcuno dovrebbe volere, viverla in quel modo.

NON "se vivi in questa community ti succederà questo". E' proprio quello che non deve succedere. Si può prendere come esempio su come NON comportarsi.
Ma sappiamo tutti che il cervello non ragiona per negazione e io personalmente preferisco vederle al positivo le cose. E cioè preferisco pensare a quello che di bello c'è da fare.
Non a ciò che mi potrebbe succedere se sono così coglione da vivere in maniera psicotica questo mondo.

In definitiva un articolo molto MOLTO negativo che ha come unica utilità quella di dare esempio su come NON vivere questa community.

Forse a qualcuno può tornare utile...

[Nat]

Sè straquoto Sun.

Come ho detto sopra, ci sono concetti che non condivido tipo "E' normale avere appuntamenti ecc. ecc.... beh ragazzi per me non lo era  " Quella volta all'anno che uscivo con una donna poi... finivo in friendship 

[Whoim]

Ciao ragazzi! Bellissimo articolo Nat. Lo sto traducendo perchè credo che possa essere molto utile una volta capito il meccanismo, quando cominciano a presentarsi i primi problemi di "incongruenza" che io ho superato (se le ho superate!) solo abbandonando per un po' il forum e la community e "maturando" le conoscenze per conto mio.